Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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