There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
