dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
