are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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