Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
