Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
