That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
