I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
