Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize