i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
