video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
