Dual....:-)
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
where am i from again
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
