im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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