Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
