she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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