uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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