just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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