Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
