let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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