Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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