What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
So. Much. Porn.
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