saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
That accounts for only three of the penises
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
