Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
