If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
