i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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