He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
