I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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