It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
