Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My hand turned me down
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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