I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
