I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
