yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
