I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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