Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
