i don't like sucking hair
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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