btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
