Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
