your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Randomize
