mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
