Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize