I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
