i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
