a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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