We need to rekindle our bromance
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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