If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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