im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
