Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
sex in a hospital.. check
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
