walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
