Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
