i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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