But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
