the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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