True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
