there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
