Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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